As I reflect on the last week of my 50’s–and I’m now down to the last two days of my 50’s–the most significant development of this decade for me has been what happened during my spring retreat this year in early May. I’ve already recounted some of the impact from the retreat, but the most significant lasting aspect of that time, and one that is going to last into my 60’s in a powerful way, provided God gives me time in my 60’s is the reality that when Jesus told us we must “lost our souls, in order to find them,” and the necessity of “taking up our cross daily” He was talking about the daily necessity of “crucifying” our souls-our minds, emotions and wills–and letting the Holy Spirit “resurrect” them. I got this truth from Watchman Nee’s book The Normal Christian Life.
It has made such an impact in a short time. Over the past month, during my daily prayer time I have told God, “I lay my soul before you–mind, emotions and will. Crucify them so I will live in the power of Your Holy Spirit and not in my own, selfish will, feelings or intellect.” I don’t say it in exactly those words each day, but the point is I want God to be in charge of my mind, emotions and will, and not me. As I read and reflected on Nee’s point in The Normal Christian Life that each of the gospel writers records a different moment and context when Jesus told us we must lose our souls in order to find or save them, I realized He had understood a powerful, biblical concept I had somehow skipped over all these years. The reality in my life has been an understanding that the world (or I) have no need of my best, whether it be the best of my brain power, or the most passionate of my emotions or the most determined set of my will. What I need and what the world needs from me is to submit my brain power, my passion and my determined will to the presence and power of the Holy Spirit. Only then, does God’s will and purpose get done in and through me.
If we are going to be the best leaders we can at home, in the church, out in the world, wherever we’re leading, we must offer the folks we lead God’s best in us. God doesn’t want to wipe out our personalities, or our intellect, our emotions or our wills. God wasn’t to empower them in ways we will never accomplish apart from Him. Dr. Dick Eastman mentioned that a Korean pastor who toured the United States some years ago, visiting many of the larger churches was asked at the conclusion of his tour, “What did you think?” The pastor replied, “It is amazing what the American Church has been able to do…without God.”
Whoa. When I heard that I thought, “How often do I do something ‘without God,’ that is without submitting my soul to Him?” I am quite careful to pray before I preach, while I prepare messages and studies, and yet many times I was asking God to “baptize” my efforts, my study. The goal is not to empty our minds and not to study, not to work, but the difference I’m talking about is confessing to God that nothing good starts in or with me. My mind is always going to be tainted with sin, with selfishness, with a motivation to put me in a good light. Only when I offer my mind up to God, when I “crucify” it can He “resurrect” it through the Holy Spirit’s power and use it to His glory.
This change of emphasis has brought about such significant changes in just a month, that I list it as the most important development of my fifties. On a daily basis, I have been learning what it means to live with the Holy Spirit not just present but in charge of my soul. Do I fail at keeping Him in charge? Definitely! I am at the “conscious learned” stage in the process of learning to live with the Holy Spirit resurrecting my soul. (If you’re not familiar with the four stages of learning they are: 1) Unconscious unlearned (you don’t know you don’t know something.); 2) conscious unlearned (you know you don’t know something.); 3) conscious learned (you now know the information, or the process, but you have to think to implement it.) and; 4) unconscious learned (you can access the information or implement the process without thinking about it.) That means I need to think often about whether the Holy Spirit is in charge of a mental process I’m using to prepare a lesson, or a blog post, for example. One day, I’ll move on to the place where the Holy Spirit is guiding my soul without much conscious effort.
As you go about your day today, stop to consider whether you have given the Holy Spirit permission to guide your mind, emotions and will. Have you “crucified” them, lost your soul to use Jesus’ term, so that you can find them in Him? This is a crucial question, and makes incredible difference in how we approach nearly everything we do. That’s why I list it as the most important learning of my 50’s. I hope you learn or have learned it much sooner in your life.
Here’s to leading better, by taking the time to give the Holy Spirit control of your soul–today! (and everyday!)