Tomorrow is Father’s Day, so I thought I’d run a two day “series” on Leadership Lessons I Learned From My Dad. While my dad was an angry man most of his life, and not a follower of Jesus until just a couple years before he died, he was a man of integrity. If Clyde Marshall told you he would be somewhere, you could guarantee he would be there at least five and more likely fifteen minutes before the appointed time. If he told you he would do something, he would do it unless there was no way it was humanly possible. Dad expected no less from his four sons. Lying was never tolerated under his roof. Some people will tell you stories about their parents telling them that telling the truth was always best, that there would be less punishment for telling the truth about doing something wrong than lying about it. With my dad, it was always understood that there was no point in lying. He would find out and you would regret it. So, the first leadership lesson I learned from my dad was: Be a person of your word, a person of integrity.
It’s a common practice in business these days to impress customers by “under promising and over delivering.” With my dad there was never a need for a promise, because he was always going to deliver more than was required of him. I remember many times when my I would be introduced to one of my dad’s co-workers, and whether it was a “boss,” a peer, or someone dad was just working with as part of his daily routine in the company, every person said, “No one works harder than your dad.” They would usually add something about doing excellent work as well as working hard. The second leadership lesson I learned from my dad was: Work hard and work well.
I remember once when I was a teenager and had a job as a nurse’s aide at a local nursing home. It was between high school and college and would only last for four months. I knew I was going to be trying out for the basketball team at college, so I had started working out after a long lay-off from a daily workout routine in order to make up for lost time. I had overdone it with sit-ups during that first workout and when I woke up the next morning, as I bent forward to get out of bed, I felt sharp pain EVERYWHERE in my abdomen. I decided to stay home, because there was no way I would be able to work with pain like that. About ten minutes after I was supposed to be up, my dad who was home for some reason, (which wasn’t typical) shouted upstairs, “I thought you had work today.”
I shouted back, “I’m not feeling well.” He asked me what was wrong, and after several shouts back and forth I told him that my stomach hurt too bad for me to drive. He told me to get dressed and he would drive me to work.
He did.
I muttered under my breath all the way there. Every time I moved for the first couple of hours I felt pain in various places in my abdomen, but as the day wore on it was just a dull ache. I had felt similar pain after two-a-day workouts on the high school football team. I realized that my dad had been right, not only COULD I go to work, but it would have set a bad precedent not to go to work. I was in pain. I wasn’t sick. I wasn’t injured. I have experienced pain many mornings since that one so long ago. In fact, I have some kind of pain just about every morning at my age. Sometimes I think of my dad, who died to this life back in 1996, and remember that pain isn’t a reason to miss work. I’m grateful that my dad set the example of working hard and working well, and passed it on to me. I’m sure there have been hundreds of times over the years when his influence consciously or sub-consciously got me out of bed, or through a crisis, or to the finish line of a project, because working hard and working well are a given for Clyde Marshall’s sons.
I hope you had a dad who showed you some leadership lessons early in life. We live in a culture where dads are often absent either physically or emotionally. My dad was gone due to his work during much of my growing up. He often left for a week or two at at time and travelled to other states for his job. When he was home he wasn’t usually in the greatest of moods. I have often wished that he would have been home more often, and that he would have been more “present” when he was. As a pastor for more than three decades, I have been with many people during significant moments in their lives. One time as I stood with a woman while her husband was dying, she turned to me and said, “He loved me the best he could.” The man wasn’t known as a great husband or dad. In that instant, I thought of my own dad. He had loved me the best he could. He never told me he loved me until after my mom died. He never spent much time with me until he retired, and by then I was well into adulthood myself. Even so, I learned much from him for which I am grateful. Tomorrow, I’ll offer a couple more leadership lessons from dad.
Until then, I hope if your dad is still around that you’ll take the time to thank him for what he has taught you that has made you a better leader. If he isn’t around, because he has died to this life, thank God for what you remember of him that was good, and kind and loving. If your dad has never been there for you, or even hurt you when he was, take a moment and forgive him, and put yourself in the hands of the perfect, loving and heavenly Father. I don’t write those words lightly, because I have no idea what it is like to never have had a dad at all, or to have one who hurt me consistently. I do know what it was like to have a dad who wasn’t often there for me, and who modeled inappropriate anger for as long as I can remember. The years have softened my memories and I am grateful that Clyde Marshall lived a life of integrity and diligent work, that he loved my mom, my brothers and me the best he could, and that one day I will see him again, and both of us will finally be all we were created to be by our loving Heavenly Father.
Here’s to leading better, by learning from our dad’s (or our Heavenly Father)–today!