As we continue our series on Leading in the Fruit of the Spirit, today’s focus is peace. We live in a world that seeks peace, but lives with war and confusion. In our own nation, we often experience disruptions to peace at home, work, and in the communities where we live. Many explanations and rationalizations have been given for why we see so much violence, and what can be done to eliminate it. At it’s core a lack of peace comes from a lack of relationship. You don’t have to believe in God, as I do to recognize that. When we have rapport with another person we don’t shoot them or do violence to them. We may disagree over many matters, but we learn how to work it out in a peaceable manner.
So, why is it that we experience broken relationships at the personal, corporate, national and international level? Hundreds of answers could be given to that question, but at the basic level, the reason we experience broken relationships is because of sin, because we are all broken. While you may disagree with the premise that we are all broken, our life experience lends incredible credence to my contention. After all, even the best of us don’t have all the spots on our dominoes. We experience moments of unexplained, or at least unsupportable anger. We don’t always desire the good of those around us. There is dis-ease within us all. That’s why peace is such a powerful need in each of our lives.
Peace is not just an absence of violence or war. In the biblical sense of the word, it is a positive quality, a sense of harmony and well-being with God and others. It’s interesting that the Apostle Paul in writing to the early Christians in Rome offered this advice, “In so far as it remains with you, live at peace with all.” I have always recognized the power in that statement. We cannot live at peace with all, because some people will not live at peace with us. We only have control over ourselves, and even that control is a challenge. Only when the Holy Spirit is living in us and guiding us do we demonstrate the ability to live at peace with all who will live at peace with us.
Those who aren’t willing to live at peace with us, who may even desire to harm or kill us must be addressed, but let’s consider for the moment, those who are willing to live at peace with us. As leaders, we have an obligation to be peacemakers to the degree we can. Why? It’s good business for one thing. After all, we can’t close a deal with someone who is fighting with us. While peace is a spiritual reality more than anything, it is also a practical reality for those of us who lead. We must be able to bring civility and hopefully more than that–positive relationship in our dealings with others, whether individuals or groups, companies, or governing bodies.
Peace is at the heart of civility, because when I am in harmony with God, myself and others, I am able to develop positive relationship with all who have even a modicum of civility. As leaders, we must exercise self-leadership in this area first. We all have folks who give us a pain where a pill won’t reach, folks with whom it is difficult to live at peace, but as leaders we don’t have the luxury of discounting them. That is always true, but particularly true if they hold a position that is important to our success personally or corporately. How do we address such people? We seek to live at peace with them. We seek to exercise peace toward them. We treat them as we would want to be treated.
What if none of that works? Paul reminded us we won’t be able to live at peace with all, but we are obligated to make the attempt. After repeated attempts, if the person is unwilling to live at peace, then we must determine how to avoid them positively. What do I mean by that? I mean we minimize our contact with them. We find someone else in the organization whose personality or leadership style may fit them better, or we may disassociate ourselves from them.
I learned many years ago that just because I am the pastor of a church doesn’t mean that I must permit toxic people to poison the rest of the church family. I have seen too many situations in churches where people have put up with lethal amounts of poison from a person, in order to “keep the peace.” That isn’t peace-keeping. It’s cowardice. At New Life we are extremely clear about our mission, vision and values when folks join us. We welcome everyone! Everyone belongs at New Life the day they show up. By we do play by God’s rules and guidelines. We speak the truth in love. We don’t permit folks to steam role others in the name of truth, without exercising love. That leads to division, disharmony and a lack of peace.
You may ask, “Isn’t that unloving?” Of course not! Letting someone spew poison on your family, your business, your church isn’t loving. It’s contributing to the dysfunction of the system. Peace never means cowardice. It seldom means compromise. Peace means being so filled with the harmony and good will of God that we can address dysfunction in leave, and make certain that the dysfunctional member understands we don’t believe in “keeping the peace at any cost.” That isn’t peace at all.
How are you at being filled with peace in your own life? Do you have a sense of harmony and well-being with God and others that serve as the base for how you treat others? What do you do when a toxic person attempts to guilt you into accepting their behavior in the name of peace? These are vital questions to answer, because as leaders we are responsible for the overall health and success of our organization whatever it may be. If you look at the questions and think, “This can be overwhelming.” Yes, it can be. The only way any of our tasks as leaders become manageable over the long haul is to make certain we’re in a right relationship with God in Jesus Christ, and consistently live in the power of the Holy Spirit. (If you don’t operate out of a Christian worldview, you will need to give your best effort to being at harmony with yourself, so you may express that sense to those you lead.)
Here’s to leading better, by exercising peace within yourself toward God and in all your other relationships–today!