Who Are You Mentoring?

One of the most important matters for a leader to undertake is mentoring. So who are you mentoring? Is there someone(s) you are investing in on a regular basis, sharing your wisdom and expertise, so when your run as a leader is over your leadership influence will continue? If you’re a young leader, you may not think you need to consider mentoring, because you have plenty of time. That kind of thinking is short-sighted at best, and will ensure your influence does not continue beyond your lifetime. It’s never too early to start mentoring. After all, regardless of our age, we don’t know how long we have left to lead, and mentor others, right? None of us is given a guarantee when it comes to longevity.

Over the years I have spoken with many people about the need for all of us to have an accountability partner and to mentor others. Depending on our age, we may also need to have a mentor ourselves. That way someone is investing in us, someone is holding us accountable for our leadership and growth and we are investing in someone in the next generation. Leadership is a team effort, and that not only applies to the importance of leading through teams, but the importance of investing in future generations of leaders, and investing in our own sustainability as leaders.

I realize that last paragraph covered a lot of territory, but unless we are intentional about our own growth and accountability, we may not be leaders long enough to become effective mentors for others. Each of us must invest in our own life and well-being intentionally or risk forfeiting our leadership too soon. When we are investing in our own lives and leadership, we are excellent candidates to invest in the lives of other potential leaders. After all, a good example is a great place to start when it comes to mentoring. Young leaders need role models at least as much as they need someone to give them good information. Good information is available from a plethora of sources, but faithful role models aren’t as easy to find.

You may have heard the old saw: good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions. I bring it up here, because when I say young leaders need good role models, I don’t mean perfect role models. Sometimes what we bring to the table as mentors is “experience.” We have made bad decisions, and when we mentor others we can steer them away from those, if they’ll listen. In my experience, sometimes a young leader hears our stories about what we did wrong, nods his head in agreement, and then goes out and does the very same thing we told him sidetracked us. The role of a mentor is not to dictate another’s behavior, but to inform it.

How do you choose a person to mentor? You may already have someone in mind, but have been reticent to volunteer, because it may not seem humble to do so. The person you’re considering may be in need of a mentor, and may be afraid to ask. You’re stepping forward and volunteering to mentor in that situation, may be the very thing the young leader was desiring. Or not. The person may say, “No thanks.” That’s the danger every leader has when offering to help or lead another. We need to be okay with that. Our having a desire to mentor another doesn’t always mean the other wants to be mentored. If you have considered who you would be equipped to mentor, prayed about it, and then make the ask, whether the response is a yes or a no, you have done your part.

At the same time, a young leader may come to you and ask you to be his or her mentor. In those situations, you need to consider the investment it will take in terms of your time, effort and energy before saying yes. Just as a prospective mentor may say no to us, we need to be able to say no at times. I would say the times we need to say no is when the prospective mentor is asking us more out of a personal relationship than out of a “match” when it comes to what he or she needs in a mentor. Being a mentor means different things to different people, but a mentor ought at least to have experience and expertise in the area of the prospective mentor’s chosen vocation. We also need to consider how many people we can mentor effectively given our current life season and situation.

Once you have found the younger leader to mentor, be sure to establish some ground rules around such matters as how often, what time of day and where you’ll be meeting. Flexibility may be required depending on your schedules, but the more regular and routine the relationship becomes, the more likely it is to be consistent and mutually beneficial. Remember that mentoring is more than being a friend. Be clear about that. While you may become friends, the goal is to build into the person’s life, to make them more effective leaders than they are today. Sometimes that means critiquing what they are doing. Be clear that you will never do that with the intent to hurt feelings, but sometimes that may occur.

I have mentored many young leaders over the years, and am about to enter a new mentoring relationship this week. I have found the experiences to be mutually beneficial. I must continue to learn and grow myself if I am to offer benefit to the one(s) I’m mentoring. You will experience the same thing as you invest intentionally in younger leaders if you haven’t done so before. Remember that one of the greatest blessings of being a leader is to equip the next generation of leaders to follow after you’re leadership has ended. We are all stewards of our gifts, skills, time and leadership. I hope you’ll make the commitment to mentor a younger leader if you haven’t yet done so, and that you’ll continue to be a mentor if you already are one.

Here’s to leading better by entering a mentoring relationship–today (or in the near future)!

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