Yesterday, I took time to travel to my hometown of Gipsy, PA with Barry, our executive pastor. As we drove through Hillsdale, Cherry Tree, Burnside, and then Gipsy, visiting Pioneer Lake, the Burnside Campground, the Burnside Cemetery where my parents are buried, and then Alan and Shryl, a couple in Gipsy who I have known virtually all of my life, I was reminded it’s important to reflect on our roots from time to time. While not many folks live in Gipsy these days (not that many people ever lived in Gipsy) it was great to connect with Alan and Shryl and to reminisce over some of the great times we had when I was a child. Seeing Pioneer Lake reminded me of so many good times while water skiing, swimming, camping, and being with my immediate and extended family and friends.
It’s so easy to get so caught up in “now” that we don’t stop to reflect on what brought us to where we are, or to consider where we’re going. I once heard Fred Craddock say, “A person who can remember back no further than his birth is an orphan.” The statement means through our families of origin with have collective memories from our parents and grandparents of events that took place before we were born. While no one ought to become rooted in the past, obsessing over events that did or didn’t happen when we were young, taking the time to consider who we are as a result of our ancestors is a good use of time. While not all of the memories will be good ones, even negative events can be used to focus our current actions on activities that will ensure those type of events don’t happen again.
For example, while I was at Pioneer Lake I was reminded that many of my positive memories of my dad are from those days. He was a great boat driver, and when I was in my late teens I was an excellent water skier. He would often turn the boat in circles in attempts to make me fall. It was a fun game for the two of us, and when he couldn’t “win” by making me fall, he would simply cut the boat in the opposite direction, which meant the rope would go slack, and I would sink into the water. We enjoyed that time a great deal. I can still see my dad smiling and laughing as he “won.”
At the same time, I remember moments when the boat engine wouldn’t start and dad would be so angry that I wanted to leave. On one particular occasion when Kenn, my youngest brother, had invited a school teacher over to see him water ski, the boat engine failed to cooperate and my dad went berserk. I felt so bad for Kenn, but also for me. As I thought of that memory, it reminded me of how important it is not to let anger rule my life when things don’t go the way I want them to go.
Life is full of good and bad memories. As we take time to reflect on both, and learn from both, we become more effective leaders here and now. I hope you take time once in a while to reflect on your roots, where you grew up, the people who impacted your life, the role models at school, church, in community groups and in your family who have helped you become the person and leader you are. As I spoke with Alan and Shryl I realized how much of a positive impact they have had in my life, particularly Shryl. When I was seventeen and had preached at a morning worship service at church, she came up to me and said, “I think you missed your calling,” because at the time I wasn’t planning to go into the ministry. She reminded Barry of that yesterday, and I smiled and said, “I didn’t miss it, just took a couple of detours before I found it. That was an important moment.
I don’t often go to the cemetery, because my belief system reminds me my parents aren’t there, just their physical remains. Even so, as Barry and I looked at their graves, the dates of their births and deaths, and the names of my brothers and me on the back of their tombstone, I was reminded of the brevity of this life, and how important it is to make the most of the time between the starting and ending dates. Even more, I am reminded that this entire life is a dot compared with the long line of eternity that goes on after this life ends. By taking fifteen minutes to stand in that cemetery, I was reminded how important it is to live our lives for eternal gain, and not just for this life.
I encourage you to take a trip “back” to your roots in the near future, whether that means an actual road trip, or just a trip in your mind. Remember who and where you were, and the people and events who shaped you to become who you are. As you reflect on your roots, I’m sure you’ll come across some memories that will help you to live more effectively as a person and a leader now.
Here’s to becoming a better leader by reflecting on your roots–today!