Yesterday, when I was talking about leading through others, I mentioned that sometimes leaders take control because we say, “I can’t get them to do anything.” The them may be the members of the church family we serve, or the shop we oversee, or the non-profit we manage. Whomever the “them” is, I once heard an extremely helpful comment from Craig Groeschel when it comes to this kind of thinking. He said, “While we often say, ‘Our people won’t do this,’ the truth is we ought to say, ‘We haven’t led our people to do this yet.'” That statement makes all the difference.
After all, when we say the problem is the people we’re leading, we leading have no recourse. If it’s their fault, then all we can do is hope or pray they will eventually see the light, or change, so that they will do what we want them to do. The first problem may be what I just said: we can’t get “them” to do what “we” want them to do. I always say, “There is no they, only we.” As soon as we start to think of others as “them” or as “those people,” we do at least two things that make leadership impossible: 1) we identify them as the enemy, or at the very least the opposition; and 2) we remove our responsibility for leadership in the situation.
Once I realize that the people of New Life have not yet adopted a specific behavior or action that will benefit them and advance the Kingdom of God, I always find it much easier to lead them. The key is as a pastor, and I would contend as any type of leader, my goal ought never be to advance my cause or my goals alone. My goal must be to help those for whom I have the responsibility of leadership to grow, to gain, to move forward in whatever endeavor we are undertaking. For example, if I would say, “I can’t get our people to greet new guests before worship,” I’m identifying “them” as the problem, and I’m also assuming that “they” are purposefully failing to welcome others who visit New Life for the first time.
I already see such people as guests rather than visitors, which means I’m expecting them, hoping they come, and preparing for their arrival. New Life’s leadership invests significant energy to make sure we have a welcoming environment, by providing a Welcome Center for guests, by providing hot coffee, cold water and some snacks, and by welcoming guests ourselves. The next step as leaders is for us to make certain the folks of New Life understand how important it is for them to welcome guests.
We have become quite intentional in doing this over the years. We make a point in our new members’ classes to ask folks what kind of welcome they received when they first came to New Life. Thankfully, most of them tell us they felt quite welcomed. When they do, we say, “That’s because our members know how important it is to welcome guests. It’s hard to come to a church for the first time, especially if you haven’t been part of a church in your prior experience.” We remind those who are becoming new members that it’s their responsibility to welcome guests, so our guests will have they same positive experience they had when they first came to New Life.
When I see a first time guest or guest family standing in the gathering area before worship with no one speaking to them, I find a person our couple who are part of the church family and ask them to introduce themselves to the new people. Occasionally, these folks come back to me and say, “Thanks for giving me the opportunity to get to know these new folks.” I always thank them for taking the opportunity. At times I will remind folks in a message how important it is to welcome new folks, because it might be the reason someone who doesn’t know Jesus comes back and eventually does come to know him.
Over time this has developed a culture of welcome. That doesn’t mean everyone welcomes others, but many of our people do. I can’t say, “Our people won’t welcome other people,” and we have done a great deal to make certain that welcoming other people has become the priority it needs to be. You may think this is a small matter. Most of the things our people won’t do are small matters. Over time as we coach, encourage, and challenge our folks to move toward the behaviors and actions that will benefit them and the company, the church or organization, we will realize that when given good reasons and good examples most folks are willing to adopt new behaviors that will move them and everyone else toward the accomplishment of the goals we have set as leaders. The key is to remember it is our task as leaders to move those we lead toward behaviors and actions that will benefit us all rather than defaulting to the statement, “Our people won’t…”
Here’s to leading better by encouraging, modeling and challenging those we lead to move forward in behaviors and actions that are good for us all–today!