This morning Kenn, my younger brother, and I will be driving to Cooperstown, NY, to visit the Professional Baseball Hall of Fame. We’re actually making a weekend of it, and Kenn’s son, Matt, will be joining us. I’m a devoted baseball fan and have always wanted to visit Cooperstown, but at the age of 59 it has never made it from the “to do” list to the “to done” list. Why? The short answer is I’ve been too busy doing other things. While traveling to Cooperstown is an activity, it is much more than that. It’s an opportunity to be a fan. It’s an opportunity to be a brother, and an uncle. It’s an opportunity to be a participant rather than a leader.
I have no doubt some things will happen that will be leadership lessons. That happens to me wherever I go, because I learned a long time ago to learn from the positive and negative events of life, which means every situation is a learning activity. But that’s not why I’m going. A couple of years ago when Jim, my oldest brother died, I realized that where there were once four brothers, there are now three. Eventually there will be two, then one, then none. I made a commitment then and there to invest time in my two remaining brothers, to be with them, to participate in activities we enjoy, and when we’re together just to be brothers. If “important” matters come up in conversation, that’s icing on the cake.
While I am more an more intentional about making my time count as I get older, I’ve realized that making time count doesn’t always mean making it pay a tangible reward that can be factored as a bottom line, or another “cog” in the “machine.” A couple weeks ago I took two days to celebrate my older brother Tom’s birthday with him. We didn’t have an agenda. We did celebrate. We got to be together. I expect the same from this weekend. Do I have work that I could do instead of taking the time away? Sure. We all do. There’s never time to be. There’s always time to do. The only way to make time to be is to schedule it and take it. Is this the best time for me to be away? You know the answer to that question. There’s never a best time to be away, especially if the being away is more or less just to be. It doesn’t add up in the world’s way of factoring importance or victory, or success. I know this: I’m glad I invested two days with Tom in early July, and that I’m investing four days with Kenn and Matt now. When I’m sitting in my rocking chair someday, I bet I remember the hall of fame induction of Ken Griffey, Jr. and Mike Piazza–and that I was there with Kenn and Matt. I’ll also remember that Tom and I got to be together for his 73rd birthday, and hopefully for a lot more.
Do you take time to be? Do you invest time in being alone, so you can remember who you are and whose you are? Do you invest time in the important relationships in your life so they really are the important relationships in your life? Let’s join our mentor, Socrates, and remember that the unexamined life is not worth living, and do a little self-examination in the area of being. Then if there’s a deficit, get out the calendar and start making plans to correct it.
Here’s to leading better by taking time to be–today!