Category: Leading in Life

As we continue our Finishing Well focus for this week, we ask another important question: Do you know your potential roadblocks and detours to finishing well? As I mentioned yesterday, when a group of pastors who had not finished well were surveyed about why, all of them agreed they never saw it coming. They didn’t think it could happen to them. Recently, a person I know at an acquaintance level was arrested on the accusation of embezzling company funds. I was shocked, because I didn’t see it coming. I wonder if the person did?

One of the best ways I know not to be shocked by our own behavior is to examine our motives and behaviors daily. If I were to ask you, “What would derail you from finishing well?” Do you know the answer? Do you know what your potential roadblocks are? Four major potential stumbling blocks in all of our lives are Fame, Power, Fortune, and Sexual Immorality. While many other potential stumbling blocks are in our paths, the four just mentioned have derailed countless leaders who were doing effective jobs in their leadership in government, religion or business.

Do you ask yourself whether you are vulnerable in any of these areas? Do you know which one would be the most likely stumbling block for you? Who is holding you accountable to maintaining your integrity and growing in your character and leadership? While the questions are similar to yesterday, that’s because we must practice daily disciplines if we want to ensure we can prevail over a lifetime, and finish well. After all, the finish line is a long string of days away for each of us, and the string is longer or shorter based on how old we are right now.

One of the things I have learned about myself the areas where I am most likely to stumble have changed through the various seasons of my life. I got over the drive to pursue fame and fortune at virtually any cost quite early in my life. While I have gone through periods where I groused about not having enough money, the pursuit of wealth has never been a serious roadblock for me. In my younger days, the allure of affirmation from women was much more of a stumbling block than it is today.

As we mature in our lives, and the key word there is “mature,” not just age, but as we mature in our lives each of the temptations becomes less of a potential stumbling block, because maturity brings wisdom. We see where the 15-minute decisions will lead, far more easily than when we were in our teens or twenties, or even thirties and forties, so we make more 15-year decisions. If you are not familiar with the concept of 15-minute decisions, versus 15-year decisions, the idea is that when an opportunity comes before us we ask ourselves, how will this make me feel in 15 minutes; in 15 years? Indulging in the pursuit of any of the temptations mentioned above may feel good for fifteen minutes, but won’t feel so good in 15 years when it has destroyed a major portion of our lives.

Whatever our age right now, we must take time regularly to evaluate the potential roadblocks ahead of us, and plan to overcome them before we face them. It is far better and far easier to consider what we would do in a potentially devastating situation, before the situation ever arises. If you’re a person of faith, read the Bible, because God’s word gives us great guidance in these areas. In addition, take time to pray and ask God to fill you with His Holy Spirit so you will be empowered to avoid and overcome the temptations and potential roadblocks in your path. After all, we look forward to the ultimate in finishing well, when Jesus says to us, “Well done, good and faithful servants. Enter the joy of your master’s Kingdom, after this life ends.

Here’s to leading better, by evaluating and preparing to overcome the roadblocks to finishing well in our lives–today!

As I noted yesterday, we’ll be devoting this week to considering what it means to finish well as a leader. Yesterday we addressed the question: When do you start thinking about it? The short answer was: right now, if you haven’t already. Today, were going to ask another important question: What do you do daily to make it (finishing well) happen? I don’t know that I’ve ever quoted Mary Poppins before, but it seems apropos here: A job well begun is half-done.

What I mean by that is when it comes to finishing well, we “start” by living and leading well daily. Most of the leaders who have not finished well, didn’t wake up one day and decide to short-circuit their leadership and their lives. They woke up daily for a long time and didn’t practice the habits necessary to finish well. Of particular interest to meet are pastoral leaders. Whether you’re a follower of Jesus or not, you have certainly heard of the Christian leaders who have not finished well. Many have made the news over the past several decades. A study by Fuller Seminary focused on pastors who didn’t finish well, who had a moral failure and left the ministry. They discovered that while many factors contributed to these derailed leaders’ failing to finish well, three were common to all: 1) They were not reading their Bibles daily; 2) They were accountable to no one; and 3) They never thought it could happen to them.

Let’s consider each point: 1) They were not reading their Bibles daily. Again, whether you are a follower of Jesus or not, investing time each day to gain truth or at least to gain information that will continue to shape you as a person of integrity, and to guide your overall personal development is vital. Whatever our faith background, we must make daily deposits in our own personal development. For me that means reading the Bible, reading and listening to the Bible blog posts, podcasts and other sources of personal growth and development. I’m ordinarily reading a book about best practices in both ministry and business at any given time. This practice of investing in our own personal growth and development daily is a way we plan to finish well.

2) They were accountable to no one. As I have written before, accountability is a crucial factor in our ongoing growth as a leader. While we may not meet with an accountability partner daily, we need to be accountable to God and our spouse’s (if we’re married) daily, and to an accountability partner on a regular, preferably weekly basis. We need to give access to our calendars and our e-mail accounts to someone at work, so we ensure that we’re not spending time doing things that will derail us from living well and ultimately from finishing well. In this technological age, so much that can harm us is only a click of the mouse or tap of the finer away, we must be more diligent than ever to ensure that we live daily in a way that will lead to the health and benefit of our lives and those of everyone around us. Remember, when a leader fails to finish well it impacts so many more than the leader.

3) They never thought it could happen to them. Some of us think we have moved beyond stupid. You know what I mean, right? We think that there’s no way I would ever do what that person did, whether it’s fail morally in the sexual or financial arenas, or make unethical decisions regarding our businesses. The longer we’ve navigated the waters of life and leadership well, the easier it is to assume that under our guidance the ship will never run aground, hit a sandbar, or an iceberg. Remember, before she was launched the builders of the Titanic pronounced her unsinkable. We must never let pride or even naivete convince us that while many other leaders might take a path that wold derail them from finishing well, it could never happen to us.

I take that last step a bit further in my own life. On a regular basis I ask myself, “If I were to be derailed, how would it happen?” I consider what trials and temptations could lure me away from the path of effective leadership and living. I never assume it couldn’t happen to me, because I know that despite decades of growing as a person and a leader, you and I are all just one bad decision away from being the next victim of derailment from a life well lived. Please hear what I am not saying, I’m not saying that I never make mistakes, or that I never sin. What I am saying is I read the Bible and other information daily that reminds me of the consequences and rewards of my actions. I make sure I’m accountable to my wife and my accountability partner and to a number of others on a daily and weekly basis. I know myself, and I know that apart from the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit I won’t finish well.

All that keeps me moving forward, and reminds me of how important it is to finish well. We have all done many things over the years, we wish we could go back and undo. WE can’t. What we can do is live today in such a way that the job of finishing well is “half done.”

Here’s to leading better by investing in actions that will move us toward greater integrity and faithfulness in finishing well one day–today!

Today we turn to the importance of saying no in order to become the best leaders we can be. While every yes we say creates a no, we must also at times start with no. What I mean by that is one of the simplest paths to greater productivity in our lives is to say no to things we ought not be doing in the first place. For example, several years ago, we developed a series on spiritual disciplines called Working Out! The series made the analogy that developing the disciplines of prayer, Bible study, fasting, giving and fellowship require the same type of discipline as gaining physical strength and fitness.

One of the results of that series for me was I evaluated the amount of time I spent playing video games. I have never been much of a video game player, but one of my habits was to play a game of solitaire or spider solitaire as a “reward” for accomplishing a task. When I finished writing a message, I would play a game. The problem for me was I am rather competitive and I don’t like to lose, so I would sometimes play until I won, which might take half an hour. That meant I would play a video game ten minutes or a half an hour or sometimes an hour on a daily basis. As I thought about the concept of working out, I realized: If I just stopped playing solitaire I would have more time to pray, read my Bible and do other productive things with that time. So, I said no to solitaire. If that means freeing up only ten minutes a day over two and a half years thats more than 1500 hours I’ve freed up for other things.

Wow! No is a powerful word isn’t it? When we say no to doing the things we ought not to be doing in the first place, we free up our lives for so many more yes’s. No is a word that applies in areas other than time usage. For example, back in August I said no to drinking caffeine for about the seventh time in the last five years. I tend not to do many things half-heartedly, so I drank a couple cups of coffee a day, a glass or two of iced tea, and generally a Dr. Pepper each day. I didn’t really notice it having much of an effect on me. But when I wouldn’t drink caffeine for half a day, I got a headache. If I went cold turkey from caffeine for a couple of days the headache would become intense.

I’ve been through this process a number of times as I’ve said, but in August, when I determined it was time to get serious about everything, I started with eliminating caffeine. I went through the major headaches for a couple of days, and felt lethargic. I travelled to Cambodia a couple weeks after starting the decaffeination process, which wasn’t the best thing to do, since the eleven hour time change really messed with my sleep patterns, but now that I’m about two months into it, I feel much better physically. I will say nearly every time I drink a glass of water instead of a Dr. Pepper I think about how much better a Dr. Pepper would taste. The double benefit of saying no to Dr. Pepper is eliminating a lot of high fructose corn syrup which is not at all good for us.

So, what is it that you have said no to in your life in order to be healthier, or in order to demonstrate a commitment to being a more effective leader in the various areas of your life? What do you need to say no to now or in the coming weeks in order to do so? You know I’m going to ask questions nearly every day, because the unexamined life isn’t worth living, so we must examine our lives. What one thing if you said no to in your life, would bring a positive change in your life? It could be a big thing or a small thing. I heard a lady coming out of the convenience store the other day say to her mother, “Hey, I need a couple more bucks. I didn’t realize your cigarettes were going to cost $7.00. If I smoked I’d have to get a second job.” I thought to myself, “$7.00? If you smoke 1 pack a day that’s more than $2,500 a year.” I a person said no to smoking he or she could take a 10 day mission trip to Cambodia every year. (I know most people don’t think that way, but what would you do with $2,500 a year if you are a smoker and you said no to  one pack a day?)

Why not take ten minutes right now to consider what you need to say no to in order to be or become a more effective leader than you are right now? While “Just say No!” may not have been an effective means of eliminating drug use among young Americans, it can be and is an effective means of eliminating time and money wasters, and bad habits that affect our health and well-being. While you may not think you have the discipline to follow through with your no, think of all the yes’s your no will bring and focus on them. If you follow Jesus call on Him to strengthen you by the power of the Holy Spirit to fulfill your commitment to whatever you no may be. I know it isn’t easy to stick with our no’s. Trust me, I’m not on the seventh time of saying no to caffeine in the past several years, because I’m always successful at following my own advice, but the freedom I’m experiencing from headaches, and from depending on an external source for extra energy makes it easier to keep saying no all the time.

Here’s to leading better by saying no to one thing that’s getting in the way of being the best leader you can be–today!

As I send at the end of yesterday’s post, today we’re going to look at the yes’s we need to say in our lives. While each yes we say will bring with it a corresponding no or no’s, we’re going to emphasize the necessary yes’s right now. What is the most important yes you need to make in your life right now? What is the one thing you need to do that will increase your effectiveness as a leader, or your value as an employer or employee, or your faithfulness as a spouse, parent or child? I know that’s a big question, but sometimes we need to ask ourselves big questions.

As I’ve reflected on that question over the past several couple of months now, the single most important yes I have needed to say, and I need to say it over and over again is yes to having God be first in my life. You may not believe in God. You may not believe that Jesus Christ is God, but I do. He said, “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all the things you need will be added to you.” (See Matthew 6:33) I have known that statement since I was a child. I have believed that statement is true since I was a child. Yet, when I wake up in the morning I don’t always say yes to it. I don’t always live as if seeking God’s kingdom and His righteousness is the first priority of my life.

I need to say yes to that reality, because when I do, I know what else to say yes and no to in my life. Each of us needs a frame of reference, a worldview, a culture out of which we live and move and have our being. We have many from which to choose, but I have chosen to say yes to a biblical worldview. In that worldview God is always the first yes. From that yes, I may move forward in every area of my life: the spiritual, physical, emotional, and so on. When I say yes to God I orient my calendar and checkbook accordingly. In other words, I schedule my time and spend my money with the realization that it isn’t my time and my money. It all belongs to God.

You may not believe that. I do. Therefore, my yes’s must all stem from that reality. What is your worldview? What frame of reference is your “stake in the ground,” from which you cannot be moved? Do you have one? Saying yes starts with responding to those key questions, because until we know who we are, and I would add “whose” we are, we will have a challenging time saying yes to what matters. We won’t know what matters until we have said our primal yes to whomever or whatever it is that matters most in our lives. I would contend we are all ultimately better off when God is our first yes. That is my frame of reference.

Whatever your frame of reference, in order to get the most out of life as you understand it, saying your yes’s in a way that is consistent will bring the most satisfaction, or ought to do so. The reason I say it ought to do so, is internal consistency or congruence is the best position from which to live our lives. The challenge is the biblical worldview contends it is the superior worldview and we won’t find ultimate identity, destiny or purpose in our lives until we recognize that God has created us and revealed our identity, destiny and purpose through His Son, Jesus Christ. You don’t have to believe that, but I pray you will if you don’t.

I don’t pray it because I get a reward if you do, but because you do. You will have the potential to live your yes’s in a way that matters for today and for eternity. Let me conclude this post by saying each of us will decide on our “stake in the ground.” It may be following Jesus and therefore seeking first God’s Kingdom and righteousness. It may be following a religion to bring order and purpose. It may be pursuing fame and fortune, or it may be just going with the flow.

My guess is if your purpose is to go with the flow, you won’t have just stumbled across my blog and won’t be joining us on a regular basis. If your purpose is to pursue fame and fortune, you will find much here of value when it comes to the leadership skills and pursuits that will help you attain your goals. If you are following a religious path to order and bring purpose to your life, you will find much of value here, too. But if you are open to the truth that there is one God, who created all that exists, and that He has a Son, named Jesus, who lived, died, rose again and returned to heaven from which He sent His Spirit to empower our lives on a daily basis, your yes’s will gain their greatest power.

I believe everyone ought to be challenged by choice. While I believe Jesus Christ is Savior and Lord of all, and that truth doesn’t require you or me to believe it in order for it to be true, until we believe in Him we will pursue another yes in our lives. In any case, saying yes moves us from where we are to a different place over time. The “big” yes in our lives will determine all our other yes’s, which is why I’ve invested so much time on it today. Tomorrow, we’ll consider why no is also a critical word and action for our leadership.

Here’s to leading better by anchoring ourselves in one, ultimate yes, in order to give meaning and purpose to our lives and leadership–today!

Next weekend we are going to be launching the Yes! Initiative at New Life, the church I serve as lead pastor. The initiative will be a three year process  to increase our understanding of generosity and to commit to giving the funds necessary to construct a Children’s Nurture and Discipleship building at New Life. To coincide with that launch we’re launching a five-week message series titled: Just Say Yes! I’ve already invested much time and prayer into planning and preparing for the process and the message series. As I’ve been preparing, I’ve also been working through Michael Hyatt’s Free to Focus. Something he said in the series struck me as simple yet profound: The two most important words for increasing productivity are yes and no.

Yes and no. So many times, we focus on saying yes. Indeed, in order for us to start any new endeavor in our lives we must say yes. After all, until we make a commitment to get from where we are to where we want to be, which will mean saying yes, we will never get there. At the same time, I am realizing with Hyatt’s help that we will also need to say no. Every time we say yes to one thing we are saying no to something else. For example, if Nancy and I want to give money to the Yes! Initiative (and we do), then we will say yes to allocating funds from our income and or savings to do so. In the moment we say yes to that, we will be saying no to using those funds for any other purpose.

The importance of understanding that every yes also means at least one no cannot be overstated if we are going to be the most effective leaders possible. All too often, folks tell us we need to be positive; we need to say yes to being and doing more in our lives, if we want to be all we can be. I tend to agree with such thinking. It sounds right and it feels good. Yet we must challenge such thinking, because it can trap us into making one or more new commitments in our lives when we have neither the margin of time or money to fulfill them.

Let’s use a simple example: you want to become more physically fit. (Doesn’t nearly everyone?) What yes or yes’s will you need to say in order to do so? You may need to say yes to a new eating plan. You will probably need to say yes to a new or adjusted exercise plan. That will be a great start, but where will you get the time for your exercise plan, and what no’s will your new eating plan require? After all, we may exercise for an hour every day, but if we consume a half dozen glazed donuts afterward, we have just said no to becoming more physically fit.

When we start to think in terms of saying yes to one opportunity meaning saying no to others, we will gain a fuller understanding of how to move forward in every area of our lives and leadership. In order to start, though, we need to do what we’ve talked about from day one of this blog: examine our lives. We need to ask ourselves what do I really want to accomplish? Hopefully, we’ve already developed a life plan; we’ve already been working on life management, and we’ve already created some margin in our lives when it comes to time and money. If you haven’t done any of those things, then you can review the blog history and you’ll find posts about each of these important steps in examining our lives and leadership and then planning to become who we aspire to be.

Wherever you are right now in your life planning, life management and margin understanding the implications of saying yes and no, and particularly that anytime we say yes we are also saying no will be a giant step forward in accomplishing your goals and plans. I wanted to introduce this important idea today, and then tomorrow and the next day consider the yes’s and no’s of our lives separately, although we’ll understand that this is an artificial separation, since every time we say yes, we’re also saying no. Why not take ten minutes right now to consider the most recent yes’s and no’s you’ve said in your life and whether you considered the no’s that came with the yes’s and the yes’s that came with the no’s. (If that’s confusing, suffice it to say that every time you said yes recently you were also saying no to something, and every time you said no to one thing you were saying yes to something else.)

Here’s to leading better by understanding the implications of saying yes and no for our leadership–today!

One of the most important matters for a leader to undertake is mentoring. So who are you mentoring? Is there someone(s) you are investing in on a regular basis, sharing your wisdom and expertise, so when your run as a leader is over your leadership influence will continue? If you’re a young leader, you may not think you need to consider mentoring, because you have plenty of time. That kind of thinking is short-sighted at best, and will ensure your influence does not continue beyond your lifetime. It’s never too early to start mentoring. After all, regardless of our age, we don’t know how long we have left to lead, and mentor others, right? None of us is given a guarantee when it comes to longevity.

Over the years I have spoken with many people about the need for all of us to have an accountability partner and to mentor others. Depending on our age, we may also need to have a mentor ourselves. That way someone is investing in us, someone is holding us accountable for our leadership and growth and we are investing in someone in the next generation. Leadership is a team effort, and that not only applies to the importance of leading through teams, but the importance of investing in future generations of leaders, and investing in our own sustainability as leaders.

I realize that last paragraph covered a lot of territory, but unless we are intentional about our own growth and accountability, we may not be leaders long enough to become effective mentors for others. Each of us must invest in our own life and well-being intentionally or risk forfeiting our leadership too soon. When we are investing in our own lives and leadership, we are excellent candidates to invest in the lives of other potential leaders. After all, a good example is a great place to start when it comes to mentoring. Young leaders need role models at least as much as they need someone to give them good information. Good information is available from a plethora of sources, but faithful role models aren’t as easy to find.

You may have heard the old saw: good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions. I bring it up here, because when I say young leaders need good role models, I don’t mean perfect role models. Sometimes what we bring to the table as mentors is “experience.” We have made bad decisions, and when we mentor others we can steer them away from those, if they’ll listen. In my experience, sometimes a young leader hears our stories about what we did wrong, nods his head in agreement, and then goes out and does the very same thing we told him sidetracked us. The role of a mentor is not to dictate another’s behavior, but to inform it.

How do you choose a person to mentor? You may already have someone in mind, but have been reticent to volunteer, because it may not seem humble to do so. The person you’re considering may be in need of a mentor, and may be afraid to ask. You’re stepping forward and volunteering to mentor in that situation, may be the very thing the young leader was desiring. Or not. The person may say, “No thanks.” That’s the danger every leader has when offering to help or lead another. We need to be okay with that. Our having a desire to mentor another doesn’t always mean the other wants to be mentored. If you have considered who you would be equipped to mentor, prayed about it, and then make the ask, whether the response is a yes or a no, you have done your part.

At the same time, a young leader may come to you and ask you to be his or her mentor. In those situations, you need to consider the investment it will take in terms of your time, effort and energy before saying yes. Just as a prospective mentor may say no to us, we need to be able to say no at times. I would say the times we need to say no is when the prospective mentor is asking us more out of a personal relationship than out of a “match” when it comes to what he or she needs in a mentor. Being a mentor means different things to different people, but a mentor ought at least to have experience and expertise in the area of the prospective mentor’s chosen vocation. We also need to consider how many people we can mentor effectively given our current life season and situation.

Once you have found the younger leader to mentor, be sure to establish some ground rules around such matters as how often, what time of day and where you’ll be meeting. Flexibility may be required depending on your schedules, but the more regular and routine the relationship becomes, the more likely it is to be consistent and mutually beneficial. Remember that mentoring is more than being a friend. Be clear about that. While you may become friends, the goal is to build into the person’s life, to make them more effective leaders than they are today. Sometimes that means critiquing what they are doing. Be clear that you will never do that with the intent to hurt feelings, but sometimes that may occur.

I have mentored many young leaders over the years, and am about to enter a new mentoring relationship this week. I have found the experiences to be mutually beneficial. I must continue to learn and grow myself if I am to offer benefit to the one(s) I’m mentoring. You will experience the same thing as you invest intentionally in younger leaders if you haven’t done so before. Remember that one of the greatest blessings of being a leader is to equip the next generation of leaders to follow after you’re leadership has ended. We are all stewards of our gifts, skills, time and leadership. I hope you’ll make the commitment to mentor a younger leader if you haven’t yet done so, and that you’ll continue to be a mentor if you already are one.

Here’s to leading better by entering a mentoring relationship–today (or in the near future)!

Every Tuesday afternoon I lead a Bible Study at a half-way house for men who are in recovery for alcohol and other drug addiction. Over the years, I have learned some of the recovery language, and one of my favorite expressions is “Half measures have availed me nothing.” The reason I find that expression so helpful is I have often majored in half measures. I have attempted to do something, but without giving it my best, without being all in as the saying goes. When we offer half measures as leaders even when we “win” we lose.

I say that because when we “win” while offering half measures, the win is hollow. Perhaps we’ve reached our production quota, or the message when well, or others are happy with our performance. The problem is we know deep inside, or maybe quite close to the surface that we could have done better, and would have done better if we had given our whole self into the effort. It’s so easy to default to half measures in life, because we have so much to do that we can’t do everything well. We can’t give full measures to everything, right?

It all depends on what everything includes. If you and I attempt to do everything, then we will certainly default to half measures, because we will become overwhelmed quite quickly. That’s why we must examine our lives and ask ourselves what is important, truly important. If we compile a list of most important activities in life it cannot contain 100 items. After all, while there may be 100 items that are important, they can’t all be most important. When we attempt to do everything we will certainly fail, and feel miserable in the process, if we are leaders. Leaders have a drive to succeed.

The challenge is when we don’t attempt to do everything we can also feel like failures, right? We think if we’re leaders, truly leaders, we will be able to do more than everyone else. But the opposite is the truth. If we are truly leaders, we will learn the handful of things that are most important and pursue them with an all in attitude. Then when we succeed, we will know that it is sustainable success.

What about all the things we can’t do, when we narrow our focus? So, we get over half measuring everything, because we’re doing a handful of things with excellence, but what about everything we’re no longer doing? Truth be told, we ought not to have been doing most of it in the first place. The other activities that are important to the success of the team, or business, or family or organization must be delegated to others on the team. Leaders sometimes have problems with letting go of activities, because we’re afraid someone else won’t do it as well as we would. (Other leaders, insecure ones, won’t let go of activities, because they’re afraid someone else will do them as well or better than we would. That’s a post for another day.)

The key is when I focus on the handful of highest leverage activities, I can give full measures to them, and I won’t be in the position of half measuring everything and feeling like a failure. Please, understand the handful of high leverage activities will include personal care, what I call Life Management, and what Michael Hyatt calls the five “R’s” (I’ve written about both in previous posts.) For example, each of us needs a certain level of exercise or physical activity to remain healthy. That takes time, but such time used is not “spent” it’s “invested.” Make sure when you sit down to consider the handful of activities to which you must give full measure effort, you include the personal as well as the professional area of your life.

Remember, if you’re consistently finding yourself half measuring your life, you can be sure in the end it will avail you nothing. Take some time today to consider what you need to emphasize and what you need to eliminate and delegate in order to become the best leader you can be.

Here’s to leading better by giving full measure to a handful of emphases–today!

As we start a new week, we’re finishing the series on self-leadership, as we turn to the fifth of Michael Hyatt’s five “R’s” of managing our energy. They are: Rest, Refreshment, Recreation, Relationship and Reflection. If you missed the previous five posts, you may want to read them to get the background for these posts on self-leadership as well as to understand Hyatt’s basic premise that we can’t manage time, because it’s a fixed resource, while our energy is manageable and will determine the level of our productivity over time.

Reflection is a powerful component of self-leadership. After all, the unexamined life is not worth living, as our friend Socrates reminded us millennia ago. Reflection may include many aspects. It may simply be stopping to look back over the previous week or month, and asking ourselves whether we led to the best of our ability, whether we managed our energy well, and thus were more productive than in previous weeks or months. We may ask ourselves whether we were faithful to our personal and corporate visions. Many reflection questions may be asked, and when we’re honest in our responses, we can make adjustments so we will be more effective in the present and into the future.

Another component of reflection is meditation and or prayer. While many definitions exist for both words, as I’m using them, meditation is reflecting on Scripture, or other biblical truth in order to seat those truths in our minds and wills. Prayer is communicating with God, and an important aspect of that communication is listening as well as talking. While some of you may not believe in God, or at least not the God of the Bible who reveals Himself most clearly through Jesus Christ, taking the time to meditate and pray is a significant part of reflection for those of us who are people of faith. I encourage you to consider this aspect in your self-leadership, because it is difficult to lead if we don’t have an anchor for our lives.

As leaders, we need to reflect on every aspect of our lives, the first four “R’s” offer us opportunities for reflection. Are we getting enough rest to be as effective as we can be? When it comes to refreshment, are we eating and drinking the right things? Do our bodies demonstrate that? Are we exercising and playing in appropriate amounts, neither too little nor too much? How are our significant relationships doing? Are we investing enough time in making sure they are healthy and growing? Again, the answers to these questions will help us to see where we need to make adjustments in our lives. Unless we stop to reflect, we will not be able to lead effectively and we certainly won’t be as productive as we can be over the long haul.

Self-leadership helps us understand what we need to be and do in order to be the public leaders we are called and created to be. Taking the time to care for ourselves is vital. When I was in Boy Scouts and took the lifesaving merit badge I learned the first rule of lifesaving: Save yourself first. If we aren’t healthy and growing ourselves, we won’t be able to lead others.

Here’s to leading better by taking time to reflect–today!

We all have relationships that drain energy from us, and thankfully those that add energy, too. As we continue looking at Michael Hyatt’s five “R’s” as a way of examining our self-leadership, today we turn to the fourth “R”: Relationships. (If you’ve missed the previous posts on this topic, you’ll want to read them, but as a quick review, the Michael Hyatt contends as we seek to lead ourselves to be more productive, we can’t manage time, because it is a fixed resource. What we can manage is our energy. We do that through effective management of the five “R’s”: Rest, Refreshment, Recreation, Relationships and Reflection.)

Relationships whether personal or business certainly have the potential to build or destroy energy in our lives, don’t they? When our relationships are going well, we not only have greater energy, but greater peace and an overall sense of well-being. When we go through tough times, but our significant relationships are solid, those storms are much easier to weather than when we go through the same situations, but our relationships are draining.

One of the most important comments Hyatt makes in his consideration of relationships is that we are human beings not human doings. While we may jump to activity first in our lives, or at least be prone to do so, all activity is more meaningful in relationship and community. For example, I have taken this week as vacation. When I originally scheduled it, Nancy and I were planning to take a trip to the New England states. Over this year though, Nancy has decided that we ought to finish our basement before Christmas so we can have the staff Christmas party there. I told her a couple of weeks ago, that if that were going to happen, I needed to work in the basement on vacation instead of traveling.

Both activities have merit, but working in the basement doesn’t seem to lend itself to building meaningful relationships. If all I did was work in the basement by myself it wouldn’t have built relationships, so each day we took some time and did something fun together. It served to build energy in the recreation area as well as the relationship area. We went out to dinner together on Monday. We went to dinner and a Pirates’ game on Tuesday. We took some friends out to dinner on Wednesday, and last night we stayed home and dreamed about what the basement is going to look like, and how we’re going to use the various areas once it’s finished.

While most of the week I worked on the basement, I also took time to build my relationship with God and Nancy, and even squeezed in an evening with friends. As with every one of the five “R’s” intentionality is the key to success. Self Leadership is about intentionality–planning our work (or play) and working our plans. As we do that our lives gain energy. I must say that while I have worked hard all week, I am more energized now than I was when the week started. Taking a break from the routine of daily work has added energy. I’ve rested more than usual, and eaten better over all, which has been a challenge since we’ve eaten out three evenings. While I didn’t exercise as in do a P90X workout or ride my exercise bike, the work in the basement has provided both aerobic and strength building activity. (I even dropped a couple of pounds.)

So, what are you doing to build your meaningful personal and work relationships these days? Are you being intentional? If you’re married do you have your spouse in your schedule? Some contend all we need to do is invest a little quality time with the significant people in our lives to build relationships. In my experience, it takes a quantity of time to build quality time. My evenings with Nancy have been good, and overall we have invested more time together than we typically get to have. The rejuvenating effects of intentional rest, refreshment, recreation, relationships and reflection (more about that on Monday) are essential for us if we’re go to be healthy over the long haul.

Have a great weekend, and we’ll conclude our consideration of self leadership on Monday. In the meantime, here’s to leading better by investing in our important relationships–today!