Ask the Pastor – Just for YOU!
Hi, I’m waiting for you to send me a question about life, relationships, faith–you name it! This is called “Ask the Pastor–Just for You!” because it is.
I’ll be checking in regularly to see what questions you have. Looking forward to hearing from you!
One of you read yesterday’s post about children who don’t follow the values we shared with them, when they become adults, and asked a great follow up question, “How can children do their best to honor parents and families who don’t follow the Lord? She followed up that question by adding, “In fact, in many cases when a parent or sibling live a lifestyle that is very different than a Christ-follower, this divide can make many situations difficult when parental authority is in place, but Spirit-led authority is correct.”
This question is not theoretical for me. My dad was not a Jesus-follower for most of his life. My oldest brother never trusted Jesus as Savior and Lord, as far as I know, and I invested time intentionally to challenge him to do so, when he was dying of cancer. The short answer to this question is: The best way to honor our parents and siblings when they are living far from God is to live close to Him ourselves. When our decisions, based on following the Holy Spirit conflict with the mentality of our parents and siblings, we explain our reasons calmly and patiently. If they ask questions we respond. If they tell us we’re crazy, we tell them we understand how they would think that if what we believe isn’t true. The reality is we believe it’s true. Many years ago, I read a powerful quote: It doesn’t matter what you believe. It matters what’s true. Of course, in the area of faith, we believe facts which are true, but we can’t “prove” them to be true. Jesus’ resurrection, for example, is extensively documented in ancient historical works outside the Bible, and most extensively in the Bible. Even so, many don’t believe Jesus rose from the dead. When we’re talking with non-believing family members or anyone, we must hold tightly to our beliefs while presenting them gently.
In my family experience, over many decades, I sought to live faithfully for Jesus. My dad and brother watched as I married Nancy in a Christian wedding service. We put Jesus first in our marriage. I pursued a call to ministry, and went to seminary for three years. After that, Nancy and I have served in churches for more than thirty-five years. My dad and brother watched our lives. When my dad suffered a series of heart attacks, I always visited and prayed with him. I took care of repairs around the house. I invested time with him. It was during his recovery from his sixth heart attack that he trusted Jesus as Savior and Lord. He was 73 years old. He died two years later.
My brother and I had many conversations about the Lord over the years, and he was never interested. During the last year of his life, I travelled across the country to Oregon three times to visit with him. During each of those week-long trips, on which two of them I was accompanied by my youngest brother, we ministered to our oldest brother’s needs. We trimmed his bushes, and cared for his flowers. We took care of him physically, and we talked about Jesus. He wasn’t interested, but he appreciated our concern for him.
That’s the key: whether our parents or siblings believe what we believe, or even think we’re crazy, as long as they know we have their best interest at heart, and approach them with love if they are unwilling to receive that, then we have done all we can do.
You may be living in a situation like the ones I mentioned, or you may be in a situation where your parents or siblings are antagonistic toward you. Sometimes you can’t be around them. If you are minor, then obviously, you will need to stay and be as honoring and respectful as possible as you can, but your allegiance to God comes first. Jesus told us He would divide families, not because that was His intent, but because when one member believes in Him and another doesn’t that brings division. Division means “two visions.” That’s what we have in a family where one member follows Jesus and another doesn’t. The degree of the division will determine the action you must take. Thankfully, in my family, the division never meant I was commanded not to follow Jesus by my Dad, because I would have had to disobey that command. Wherever you are in your family situation, pray for your family members, live in love toward them, speak the truth to them gently, and then live with the outcome. You can’t do more than that!
You haven’t offered me any questions yet, but I was thinking about today’s question: What went wrong? with regard to how those of us who follow Jesus end up with adult children who aren’t following Jesus. Was it our fault? Is it our children’s responsibility? Having a couple adult children who aren’t currently following the Lord, I’ve asked myself those questions hundreds of times. Nancy, my wife, and I have gone over and over the questions.
The short answer is: It isn’t one or the other. No parents are perfect. We weren’t perfect. As a pastor, sometimes I was at work when I ought to have been home. That could be said of every, working parent. None of us are available 24-7 as our children grow. Nor is it expected, but somehow we expect it of ourselves. As our children grow, the goal or objective is for them to become mature, Christian men and women, productive members of society. If you don’t follow Jesus, you still want your children to be mature men and women and productive members of society. When they become none of those things, it’s easy to blame ourselves. The truth is we often blame ourselves more than appropriate. Yes, some parents are terrible. They have either been absent or abusive, but most parents love their children and do the best we can to “bring them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord,” or to bring them up to be good people. Our responsibility ends, when it comes to parenting them sometime in their teenage years.
Dr. Robert Lewis put it well, when he said our role as parents changes as our children mature. When they’re small, we’re their coach. We tell them what to do and how to do it. When they’re in their early teens we become their greatest cheerleader. We celebrate their victories, and commiserate with their defeats. In their mid to late teen years we become counselors. That means we’re there to show them the path, to help them get back on it when they stray and advise them on what is best. As they move into early adulthood, we become consultants. Consultants differ from counselors in who initiates the conversation. As our children’s counselors, we initiate. As consultants, we wait for them to ask. Finally, in an ideal world, we become colleagues with our children.
As colleagues, we are equals. That doesn’t mean we don’t consult. I have a part-time job working as a consultant for a number of adults. It doesn’t mean we don’t counsel. Many of us submit ourselves to counseling to work through problems and to grow in our lives. But as colleagues, we accept one another for who we are. I will never stop praying for our children to return to serving Jesus, until they do. Just as I always prayed for them to love and serve Jesus when they were growing. At the same time, I have learned, even though I am a preacher by vocation, preaching is not an effective method of living as a colleague with my children. It doesn’t help them hear what I’m saying, nor does it move them to change. I’m here for them. I love them more than I love life itself.
Which is why I sometimes blame myself, why Nancy and I sometimes blame ourselves, why you might be reading this and blaming yourself. If you were a bad parent, apologize and ask for forgiveness. If you were a good, but not perfect parent, which is the rest of us, apologize for any areas where you messed up and ask forgiveness. If your child or children are open to it keep building your relationship with them. Don’t condone their lifestyle if it’s contrary to yours, but love them without condition. That’s trickier to live out than the last sentence makes it sound! Having an ongoing relationship with your children is a blessing. When they are living in the same direction as you, the blessing is multiplied.
I would live to hear your comments about your relationship with your adult children. Please post them in the comments section or e-mail me at chris@chrismarshallresources.com. God’s blessings on your life!
If you have a question, write it in the comments or e-mail me. Thanks!
Welcome! Thank you for joining me! I’m not sure whether this idea will work, but having visited WORD.FM 101.5 in Pittsburgh, PA for many years to do a spot titled “Ask the Pastor,” which folks have enjoyed, I thought you might have some questions you wanted to ask a pastor. All you have to do is write your question in the comments, I’ll start accumulating them and commenting on them. This could be something you enjoy, so it will take off, or it could be just another one of those ideas I’ve had over the years, that becomes just another one of those ideas! In any case, YOU are the star of this blog, because if you don’t send me any questions, it won’t be around for long.
If you’re worried I said you will be the “star” of this blog, don’t be. You can certainly ask your questions anonymously. If you post your name with your question, then I’ll post your name when I respond to it. If several of you ask me the same question, then I will list all your names, unless you want to be anonymous.
I’m looking forward to receiving your questions, and starting to respond. My goal is to help you grow in your life! Whether that means responding to biblical questions, relationship questions, or really anything that matters to you, feel free to post your question. I’m going to let you know up front: I come to life from the perspective of a person who loves and serves Jesus. I believe He is the Son of God, and that His teachings are truth. My goal is not to argue with you, but I’m glad to provide responses. If I don’t know the answer to your question, and can’t find it after searching, I WILL NOT make stuff up. I have no trouble saying, “I don’t know,” because sometimes that’s the best I’ll have to offer.
I’m looking forward to hearing from you!
Chris Marshall
Hi to all who have been reading the Bible with me over the past couple of years! As you have noticed, this year did NOT start out with any posts regarding the daily Bible readings. That’s because we are going to be launching a new through the Bible reading program at New Life (the church I serve as lead pastor) in the fall of this year (2020), and I don’t want to lead people though the first eight months of the year, and then challenge you to STOP reading and join New Life with the new program.
If you want to continue using the daily Bible summaries as you read through the Bible again this year, I would suggest you simply go back to the archives on January 1, 2019 and work your way through again. Another great idea would be to use the YouVersion Bible App, which has hundreds of Bible reading programs for you to use. I love YouVersion, and one of my favorite through the Bible programs they have is Professor Horner’s Bible Reading. It is an 8 month reading program rather than a full year, but what I like about it is you read from 10 different books of the Bible every day. When I first tried it many years ago, it was challenging. I thought it would be impossible to read from ten different books at one time, but it turned out to help with my overall understanding of the Bible once I had done it a few times.
I hope you will come back, because I’m going to try something new: Ask The Pastor – Just for YOU! It starts Monday, January 6, 2020. I hope you’ll join me.
Revelation 20 might be the source of more “controversy” than any chapter in the Bible. It records the “millennium” or the thousand-year period when Jesus reigns on the earth with those who had been martyred for their faith. During that time, Satan and his legions will be locked away. After the 1,000 years, Satan and his legions will be released. They will engage in a final battle with Jesus and his army. Jesus will win, and then everyone living and dead will be judged before the great white throne. The controversy comes over whether this is a literal period, whether all the tribulation spoken about happens before this, and whether the believers on the earth will be taken up before the tribulation, or after, before the millennium or after. The questions are many and the answers are as many as the questions. One of the most important aspects of all this is: One day Jesus will return. He will conquer Satan once and for all. Those who are faithful will live with Him forever. We can argue and debate all the pre-, post-, mid-tribulation; pre-, post-, a-millennial positions, but as I have often said, “I’m no longer on the planning team for Jesus’ return. I’m on the welcoming team!” My goal is to share, grow and live the new life of Jesus with the world–one person at a time, so as many as possible will be on the welcoming team with me, when Jesus returns.
Revelation 21-22 close out the Bible with incredible pictures of what it will be like when Jesus returns and establishes His new heaven and new earth. As the Bible starts in Genesis 1-2 with perfection in a garden with God and humanity in perfect relationship and harmony, so it ends in Revelation with perfection in a beautiful garden, with God and humanity in perfect relationship and harmony. As you read through these two chapters, note who will and who will not be included in the joyous reality. One of the aspects of those excluded that has always caught my attention is in Revelation 21:8 we are told the first group excluded from heaven are “the cowardly.” We would expect murderers, the sexually immoral, idolaters, and others who haven’t repented of their sin and turned to Jesus to be excluded from heaven, but why the cowardly? It seems being a coward would be so much less worthy of punishment and exclusion from heaven than some of the others, but remember: When Revelation was written, people were being imprisoned, persecuted, and executed for following Jesus. Those who renounced Jesus would have their lives spared, but such cowardly action excluded the person from fellowship in the church, and sometimes such people even turned in their relatives and friends. This kind of action, avoiding pain and punishment for following Jesus, had grave long-term consequences, and Jesus told John this, so it would be included in Revelation. This reminder helps us all to remember to put Jesus first regardless of the current consequence. The long-term benefit and blessing is literally out of this world!
Today’s final challenge is to read the entire Gospel of Mark. That’s sixteen chapters. If you are an average reader it will take you about half an hour. As you read it, all the teachings, the miracles, and the interactions of Jesus’ life will be familiar. That was one of the major goals when we started, that Jesus’ life, teachings, ministry, death and resurrection will be part of our experience, through our reading and re-reading them. As we go about our days, having that information in our minds and hearts, will lead to our transformation as we apply them in the power of the Holy Spirit! Thank You for investing the time and effort into reading the Bible through in a year, and more than that in meditating on and living God’s word in your life. The benefits and blessings of this discipline and practice are for here and now, and forever.
Revelation 17-18 focus on the fall of Babylon the “great prostitute.” The destruction of this bed of sexual immorality and idolatry will be mourned by people the world over, because the leaders of the world have indulged in “her” immorality and idolatry. As we read through the two chapters what stands out is while all the mourning is going on, no one attempts to help the prostitute. No one doubts her judgment is just, or they fear retribution if they get involved. We’ve all heard the saying, “As thick as thieves,” meaning there’s loyalty among thieves, but in this case, there will be no loyalty among those who watch the decimation of the core of the evil on the earth.
In Revelation 19, we read of a celebration in heaven for the destruction of Babylon and the beginning of the true beginning. What that means is Jesus comes forth on a white horse and rides out to bring judgment on the earth. We’re told the judgment comes from the sword of His mouth. Again, some consider this to be a literal sword, while others recognize, Jesus created the universe with a word, and He can judge it the same way.
As we return to Luke 24, Jesus rises from the dead, and leaves the tomb, before the women who came to embalm Him arrive. When they enter the tomb, they find it empty, except for two angels who remind them of Jesus’ promise to rise from the dead. The women run to the disciples and tell them what they saw, but the disciples don’t believe the women.
Luke moves to a scene with two men, disciples of Jesus, but not members of the twelve, who were walking from Jerusalem to their home in Emmaus. Jesus appears to them, but they don’t recognize Him. When they tell them why they’re upset, Jesus goes through the Scriptures pointing out how they confirm the Messiah would be crucified and rise again. As they reach their home, Jesus acts as if He is going to continue on, but they invite Him into their house. When Jesus breaks bread in front of them, they recognize Him, and He disappears. The men run back to Jerusalem and find the disciples. As they tell their story Jesus appears. He greets them all, comforts them and then tells them to wait until He sends the “Promise of His Father,” which is the Holy Spirit. Because Luke also wrote Acts, we’re left hanging a bit as to what happens next. Luke picks that up in Acts 1, and that’s when Jesus returns to heaven.
In Revelation 13, we read about two beasts. The first beast caused people to worship the “Dragon,” who is the devil. This beast was given authority to kill the saints, the faithful who remained on the earth. Who gave the beast the authority? Ultimately, it was God. After all, He is the final authority, and nothing can happen without His permission. But just as it was when He gave Satan permission to test Job, God didn’t take away anyone’s free will to continue following Him. Job passed that test, as have many through the ages to the present day. Following Jesus doesn’t guarantee an easy life, or a long one here on earth. It does promise eternal life with Him when this life ends! A second beast appears after the first and he has a “number,” which is 666. The number is the number of “imperfection.” As we have said the number 7 is the number of God, perfection, and heaven. That makes the number 666 evil to the ultimate degree. The antichrist represents the devil and causes everyone on earth either to receive his “mark” or be destroyed. This suffering is a theme from the time of the opening of the first seal on the first scroll and continues until Jesus comes to restore all things. As already noted, some see this as cycles of suffering, and others as a restating of the same suffering. Either way, things will get incredibly bad at the end of time, before Jesus comes to establish His eternal Kingdom.
Revelation 14 records the time of the earth’s judgment, as Jesus and the 144,000 are sent out. Then three angels come to proclaim the gospel and to proclaim judgment. The gore of the “harvest” is unimaginable as we are told the blood shed from those who died was as high as a horse’s bridle and extended for miles around. While this may or may not be a literal expression of what will happen, one thing is sure: Those who reject Jesus will be judged and the result will be both physical and spiritual suffering as has never been seen on the earth.
Revelation 15 records the sending of the seven final plagues of God’s judgment. Consider the patience of God even in this final sequence of judgment: As each plague would be sent out the people who were still alive would have the opportunity to repent and receive Jesus as Savior and Lord.
Revelation 16 records the seven final plagues, and it seems each is more devastating than the one before it. After each of the plagues we are told the people who remained cursed God and would not repent. I have known folks whose suffering has caused them to curse God, and at times in my own suffering I have been angry with God. Here, though, we see God giving people the opportunity to turn to Him in their suffering, and instead they reject the salvation being offered. This reminds us how important it is to grab the grace of God in Jesus with everything we have. He wants us to know Him and to experience His presence in us through the Holy Spirit. As much as He wants that for us, He won’t force us to experience it. The response to His grace is for each of us to receive or reject.
As we return to Luke 23, we have the account of Jesus’ trial before Pilate, and then His crucifixion. In Luke’s account we read of Jesus’ offering forgiveness to those who drove the nails in His hands – which includes you and me, because we also caused Jesus’ death through our sins. We read of Jesus offering forgiveness to one of the thieves who was on a cross beside Him. The man asked Jesus to remember Him when He came into His Kingdom, and Jesus promised he would be with Him in paradise. When Jesus died, He was laid in the tomb of Joseph, and the women watched to see the location, so they could come and do the final preparation of the body for burial when the Sabbath ended. They and the whole world would be surprised at what they would find on that Sunday morning!
Revelation 9 offers us an explanation for what will happen when the fifth and sixth trumpets are blown. The first will result in a plague of locusts, with stings like scorpions that will hurt but not kill those who are stung. The second will result in the death of one third of humanity. I once had a professor who called the fractions of people killed by the various attacks in the end times as “fractions of grace.” God could simply wipe out everyone and everything on earth, as He did during the time of the flood in Genesis 6-9, but He promised not to do that. It’s striking to notice the reaction of those who experienced the plagues and the attacks: they did not repent. Fallen humanity, of which we all start out as a part, seeks to blame others, to deny responsibility, and to reject God’s grace. Thankfully, some of us do accept it and receive the forgiveness of sin that has always been the only hope we have for living life in its fullness now, and forever.
Revelation 10 tells of another angel who came down from heaven with a scroll. He stood with one foot on the land and one on the sea. (We have a similar image in one of Daniel’s visions in the Old Testament.) In this case, the scroll causes seven “thunders” to speak, and John was about to write down what he heard, but he was told not to record it. Then John was given the scroll to eat. He was told it would be sweet in his mouth, but it would be sour in his stomach. This reference to sweet in the mouth and sour in the stomach is one we read fairly often among the prophets of the Old Testament. The point is sometimes a message of judgement “tastes” good as we offer it, but when we consider the consequences of it, it sours our stomachs. Once we have tasted the grace of God in our lives, it is no longer possible to experience His judgment without some sorrow for those who must experience it.
Revelation 11 starts with a record of two witnesses, who are Moses and Elijah. They will testify for “1260 days.” This number is significant in the Book of Revelation, and in the Book of Daniel. It is also recorded as three and a half years, or as a time, two times, and a half time. Each is a way of saying a short and indefinite period of time, because it is half of seven, the number of completion and perfection. After Moses and Elijah’s time of prophesying against those who have rejected God, the beast or anti-Christ is released to kill them. After they were dead for “three and half” days, God resurrected them and called them back to heaven. Following this the seventh trumpet was sounded, and worship is proclaimed forever and ever. If the Book of Revelation ended here, we wouldn’t miss not having the rest of it, except that Revelation 21-22 tells us some amazing things about heaven. The intervening chapters 12-20 tell us again and again of the judgment on those who reject Jesus.
Revelation 12 offers us a fantastic description of two crucial events: Jesus’ birth, and the devil and his demons being cast down from heaven. The first part of the account seems to happen after the first, because the devil couldn’t have been waiting to kill Jesus, before he became the devil! In any case, the descriptions in the book of Revelation cause a great deal of challenge to those who seek to interpret every image literally. The dragon has long been an image for the devil, but he is a fallen angel, who even now can appear to us as “an angel of light,” as the Apostle Paul reminded us. The scariest thing about the devil these days is how many people he has convinced he doesn’t exist. It’s extremely challenging to fight an enemy we don’t believe exists. Revelation 12 reminds us he does exist, and his goal is to destroy anyone and anything who serves Jesus.
As we return to Luke 22, Judas leaves the group to meet with the religious leaders. He agrees to betray Jesus. This is followed by Jesus’ Last Supper with the disciples, followed by Jesus praying in Gethsemane. After this is Jesus’ arrest, Peter’s denial of Jesus, and the soldiers mocking Jesus, and His trial before Pilate. All-in-all, next to Jesus being crucified, this was the worst day in the history of humanity, because we conspired to crucify our Creator, Redeemer and Sustainer. When I say “we” conspired, “we” weren’t there physically, but it was our sin that put Jesus in that place, and if we were in that time and place we know we would either have ignored Him, denied Him or betrayed Him, because that is what those closest to Him did!
Revelation 5 continues the scene from the throne room in heaven. In it a scroll is presented, but no one can open it. After some time, a “Lamb” that looked as if it had been slain, came and opened the scroll. The “Lamb” is Jesus. The description of the Lamb must be metaphorical, given that Jesus is a person. The elders and angels worshiped the Lamb and sang Him their praise. Take a good look at this chapter, because one day, we will be among those who are singing our praises to Jesus as well–so long as we belong to Him, because He is our Savior and Lord!
In Revelation 6, the Lamb removes six of the seven seals on the scroll, one at a time. With the removal of each seal comes a significant event. The first four seals being removed releases what has often been referred to as “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” They will be given power to devastate the earth. The fifth seal revealed martyrs who had died for their faith and are waiting for their full reinstatement in the time of Jesus’ victorious establishment of His eternal kingdom. The sixth seal released natural disasters on the earth. The impact will be felt throughout the planet. The question always asked is: When will this happen? The short answer is: Even Jesus didn’t know when He was on the earth, so our efforts ought to be put forth in seeking to help people come to know Jesus before they take place!
Revelation 7 reveals an event debated, discussed, and that has even brought about a cult that focuses on the “144,000 virgin men” from the various tribes of Israel. The Jehovah’s Witnesses claim only 144,000 people will be in heaven. Once their numbers surpassed 144,000 people, they adjusted their views to say those 144,000 will be in heaven, while the others who believe and are faithful will be on the new earth. In reading the rest of the chapter we see, the number of folks in heaven cannot be counted! That is much more than 144,000. We see they will come from every people, tribe, tongue and nation. So much for those who think heaven will be populated only with people like them. This amazing scene in heaven will include people from everywhere on earth.
Revelation 8 tells us when the seventh seal was opened there was silence in heaven for half an hour. Talk about a dramatic pause…. Then seven angels came before God and they were given seven trumpets. Remember the number seven symbolizes God, perfection, and fulfillment. So far, we’ve seen seven seals, now seven trumpets. We will experience more sevens before we’re done. We’re told another angel came before the throne with a bowl of incense. The “incense” was actually the prayers of the saints. Consider that picture. Our prayers go up to the Lord in the same manner as incense used to go up from the Temple in Jerusalem. In the remainder of the chapter, the seven angels start to blow their trumpets, each in succession. As it was with the seven seals, the seven trumpets release disasters on the earth. Some of the disasters are similar to the plagues poured out on Egypt. We read of four of the trumpets’ disasters as the chapter closes, and a voice warns us the next three will be even worse.
As we return to Luke 21, Jesus affirms a widow who gave her last two pennies into the Temple offering. This is the only time Jesus affirmed someone for faithfulness in giving. He pointed out the amount wasn’t what made it special, but the sacrifice involved–it was all she had. The remainder of the chapter is devoted to Jesus telling us some of the signs of the end of the age. This fits well with the reading from the Book of Revelation. While Jesus and the Book of Revelation are detailed in telling us what will happen as the end approaches, they don’t tell us when it will happen. When isn’t ours to worry about, that leaves us with plenty of time to think about how we can help others to trust Jesus, while there is still time!